Self Love Archives | Dr. Kelly Rees

Pleasure. While it’s not the point of life, it certainly makes me want to stick around longer.

We have at least five physical senses and they are conduits to pleasure. I may have asked you if you consciously choose music you listen to, if you compose your meal to include delicious flavors and balanced colors, if you wear clothes that feel and look great. There are so many opportunities for pleasure every single day.

The next time you shower, take a moment to feel the water. Note the temperature, the scent of the soap, the texture of the spray or the washcloth. Everything in my shower smells good, the towels are fluffy and soft, and the perfect shade of blue. Sometimes I play music while showering too. It doesn’t take longer to make it as pleasurable as possible. Even if you shave in the shower with one hand while brushing your teeth with the other, you can still choose soap and toothpaste you enjoy.

Emotional pleasure is what makes us want to be together. When you walk in the door and I smile at you, when your dog tilts his head at the sound of your voice, when your child throws their arms around your neck and says those three little words; it’s the ways in which our hearts are touched.

Make pleasure a focus. Getting pleasurable touch takes away the stress of the day, it doesn’t have to be sexual. You know I’m a huge hug advocate! Have you offered or asked for a foot rub lately? Have you gazed into someone’s eyes lately? Have you played music together?

You may be very focused: eating right, exercising religiously, barely getting enough sleep, working very hard and long hours. You treat your life like a job. You may carry a lot of stress. Take a moment to think where you could add a little pleasure to your life. Can you add a work of art to your workspace? A favorite photo of your loved ones? Finding ways to let stress off during the day and in the evening. You will live longer and more comfortably for it.

Sex is like food. How are you feeding yourself?

I love potato chips. I also love doughnuts and ice cream and I rarely eat them. Okay, a handful of chips with something else, a tablespoon of ice cream standing in front of the sink. A doughnut (or two) is an excellent gorge. My indulgence is self-limiting because I pay attention to how I feel after I eat. I feel best when I feed myself greens and fish.

And a bite of chocolate.

And some wine.

Everyone has different nutritional needs. When I try someone else’s choices sometimes I suffer. Too much pasta leaves me sick, bloated, and regretful. Too much red meat and I feel like a meatloaf myself.

(Disclosure: I gave myself a potato chip hangover this weekend.)

How does this work for sex? Is there such thing as snack-sex? What’s a well-balanced sex meal?

For me, I feel happiest and healthiest after a deep, languorous sexual encounter that meets me on all levels (body, heart, mind, soul). I am up for encounters that are not all of those and if I have to choose, I prefer intimacy without sex rather than sex without intimacy.

But that’s just me.

There are 270 different religions in the world and according to the Dalai Lama we need them all.There are so many flavors of sex, we probably need all of them too.

Think of me as your sexual dietitian. Let’s look together at what gives you sustenance, what you do out of habit, and where you might cut back. What does your sexual diet consist of, which activities leave you feeling well-fed and fulfilled? We all have different digestive requirements.

Still hungry after an encounter? Let’s find out what’s missing.

Feel like you’re over-indulging? Let’s get you back on track.

Are you starving? I’m full of ideas about finding nourishment where you might not expect.

Contact me to set up a session.

Pleasure—I’m soaking in it!

Sex is Like Food