Fear of Fat

Person A

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No

Person B

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

YES

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

YES

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

YES

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

NO

Person C

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Daily,since my mother gave me diet pills in the 8th grade!

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Outside my community more

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No, But tell my tummy that

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No it means they have something they might be working with

Person D

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

I come from lean people, genetically. I never loved my body because I I thought I was too skinny as a teenager. When my pot belly began to show up in middle age I didn’t love it but didn’t hate it enough to do anything about it. Now I’m approaching 70 and thinking no one cares so why should I? Still, I’d like to wear the fancy Italian suits that fit me once.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

My sister made a crack about my brother’s “fat” girlfriend which made an impression. My parents were silent on the issue of fat – they never really struggled with it.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Absolutely not. I do think it is about power – those who are able to squeeze themselves into whatever physical mold our society deems high status are granted much more privilege than those who can’t or won’t. The rest of us -of course, especially women- have a harder row to hoe.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Person E

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Not that extreme… There are many factors

Person F

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes. It was treated like an incurable disease by media and older relatives alike through my childhood (90s/00s). I attempted to diet/starve myself as young as 8 years old.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

A lot. A lot a lot!

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

IMO no. But people are always quick to correct me with “you’re BEAUTIFUL” when I mention my size/shape/jiggles and how I feel about them for the given day. Like they have to remind me?

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Absolutely not. I’ve struggled with binge eating my emotions for my entire life. It’s a constant battle, a constant effort, a constant energy drain. I can’t imagine telling someone facing any other struggle head on and that they’ve given up.

Person G

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

yes. my brother was an athlete and started calling me fatboy before i was 10 as well as shaming my father & another brother were were a little pudgy.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

yes. it was a macho game of verbal abuse in my family. it’s really sad that instead of healing the body image issues of Gen X women coming thru the anorexia/bulimia epidemic, we’ve trained young boys to have similar neurotic obsessive somatic fears that they exercise compulsively, are bulimic etc

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

no. in the gay community there’s much more room for appreciation of big guys, bears, and many men’s ideal is closer to a musclebear

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

no but it’s too bad we’re increasingly sedentary with diabetes & cardiac risk sky rocketing in this country. Rather than have healthy debates about it, we’ve shut down any discourse about health & body size. Many of my bigger female friends are triggerd by other people having healthy self talk about their own size & health, and can’t even talk about it with other trusted big female friends.

Person H

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes. When I lost 75 lbs in 2010, I never wanted to be fat again
Now I have regained all that I lost 14 years ago, it’s depressing.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

I find people treat you differently, not as warmly or openly.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

I don’t think so, because my spiritual life is connected. Who i am inside is who I am. I think ugliness has more to do with the influence of grooming from a parent. Or growing up feeling ugly or different, and not having positive influences and support.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

A little of both. Depending where you are in your life.

Person I

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No

Person J

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yup

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yup

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Yup

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Nope

Person K

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes, I have struggled with extra weight all my life.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes, I have noticed as I’ve gained weight that people treat me differently such as judging my quality/quantity of food, judged whether or how to be friends with me, and struggled with the fear of their own fatness around me.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No, there are many beautiful full-bodied people, but people do put more negative moral judgements on fat people. People jump to the assumption that outer socially sanctioned types of beauty implies inner beauty/goodness, therefore fat people must be bad in some way.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No, there are many ways science has refuted that. ACE’s for one. Neuroscience, trauma research, microbiome research, and research on the effects of dieting.

Person L

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes. Since early adolescence I have been hypervigilent about every aspect of my body – specifically about keeping it thin. I felt that if my body didn’t meet media standards of perfection I would be unworthy and unloveable; so I’d say that I started obsessing about my body around age nine or ten. I knew it was important to be as small as possible because, well, I had eyes and ears. And it wasn’t just tv, music videos, and magazines. I was a keen observer of the way folks in larger bodies were treated as different and less than – especially girls and women.

I obsessed about fat-free foods in college. I felt guilty about the foods I loved to eat, so I would eat them and then self-flagellate. In my twenties and early thirties, this turned into binging then detoxing. I would ‘clean up’ my act, then hide candy wrappers in the trash so my housemates wouldn’t know. I knew that if they did they would see me as ‘unhealthy’ – which in the new age wellness world that I occupied = cardinal sin.

I became orthorexic, created a spreadsheet of everything I consumed hour-by-hour, tracking my choices and how/if my body changed. I considered this a healthy practice.

And I did all of this as a thin, straight-passing white woman. I have had thin privilege my whole life & I did all of the above in order to keep it. I’ve only started to ditch this project in the past two to five years, and it’s not been easy to break with conditioning.

Which is why I am grateful to now be perimenopausal. My body is changing rapidly, and I’m no longer fighting it. I am allowing my body to change the ways it needs to without my controlling interference. I eat what I want for the most part and, when I don’t deprive myself of the foods I love, moderation comes easy. I still exercise often because it greatly impacts my mental health, but I do it only in ways that feel good. Full stop. I no longer weigh myself. I still wrestle with fat-phobic thoughts from time to time, but overall, I’m much more content in my body.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Absolutely & for as long as I can remember. Too many examples to list here.

It’s often very subtle though. Like a few weeks ago when I was preparing to teach a dance class and a student – who hadn’t attended for months – showed up, rushed up to me, and commented on how I’d “lost weight” since the last time she saw me. Her face lit up, and she considered this a great compliment. It pained and saddened me that after all this time, THIS was her bid for connection.

And tbh, I was annoyed, because I had been actively trying *not* to track changes of this sort in my body; in this way her assessment of me was bringing my focus back to worth = body size. And I could argue that it was a microaggression; she was celebrating the fact that, yay!, I no longer looked the (unfortunate) way I had before. I was better and shouldn’t we celebrate?

I didn’t give her the reaction she was looking for. I let her – and those within earshot know – that body size is not something I focus on; then I casually changed the subject.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No. Not at all. HOWEVER this headspace is an ongoing project. I’ve been actively re-wiring my brain to acknowledge my internalized fat phobia and to no longer value smaller bodies as better. It’s conditioning that goes way back, that runs bone-deep. I remind my own mother regularly that she is beautiful; that she doesn’t earn points when she berates herself for her body size.

AND… and I think this is even more troubling to be than beauty ideals >>>

‘Health’ and wellness culture is uber-fat-phobic and it promotes healthism to the nth-degree; the idea that fatness is a signal of something being internally awry.

I was taught by many a mentor that the way a body looks and/or moves… that this “reflects” what is unfinished – psychologically and spirituality. 🤨

So it’s just about ugliness; it’s more totalizing. It’s an audit on every aspect of our being!

So no wonder the pressure to change our body shape/size is so essential. If we ‘give up’ on the body project or ‘let ourselves go’ then we are looked down upon in a myriad of ways. And as a fitness teacher, I was complicit in these lies.

I’m still a fitness teacher. Movement and health still matters to me. But I approach it all way differently now.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

It is not. But again, I had to mature into this understanding. And not just to learn things like – BMI is a total garbage metric based on eugenics, but also more personally.

The women in my maternal lineage tend toward average weight/size and then gain a significant amount of weight around menopause. As a young woman I worked in the world of wellness, fraught with its healthist/ableist notions, and I was desperate to avoid this familial fate. When the women in my family inevitably started gaining perimenopausal weight, in my mind they were just ‘unhealthy.’ I told myself that if they exercised, ate better food, invested in therapy, then they could avoid these change.

I was wrong.

Now that I am crossing that same threshold, my body is changing in similar ways and I’ve been humbled. I am waking up to the bullshit lies I’ve been fed my whole life – and the way I have judged and caused harm to others.

Now I see ‘self-control’ as internalized oppression and I’m working to make amends for the ways I have beat myself up and been complicit to the policing of other people’s bodies.

This is likely WAY more information than you wanted, but this is a topic that I clearly have a lot of thoughts and feelings on. 🔥😅 And I share more stories in the diet ‘cult’ure episodes of my podcast.

(This is Candice Schutter, btw; and happy to support this important work you are doing however I can!)

Thank you.

Person M

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes!

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes!

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Not always, but I have to admit my conditioning says yes for the most part.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Frequently – this is how I have been conditioned. And I certainly think that about myself when I gain weight.

Person N

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Sure

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Not at all

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Nope. Genetics. Hormones. Body build. All play a part in our weight.

Person O

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes, I was terrified after my first pregnancy that I wouldn’t get back to my before weight.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Absolutely

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No

Person P

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

A couple of times as I grew heavier for whatever reason

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Definitely

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No — but that conclusion can arise at times

Person Q

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes, unfortunately.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Not to me, but for some. The judgement for fatness is sad.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

Definately not.

Person R

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

No

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No

Person S

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes, I consistently worry about getting fat. That started in high school when I went on my first counting calories diet, even though I was in sports so I was exercising two hours a day. In my 20s I did multiple diets with my mom who always said she was overweight.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes, all the women and many of the men I know worry about getting fat. Especially as we age, men seem to focus more and more on their weight. The women I know find it harder to lose weight, talk more about using plastic surgery, or actually have tummy tucks. All of that makes me anxious about any weight gain. I’m in my 50s.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Only as applied to myself. If I gain weight, I won’t be as attractive. There are many women I know who are larger and who I find very hot and sexy. I know these women worry about their weight, but they are delicious eye candy!

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No, I don’t think fatness means someone lacks control or has given up. I do think it’s a sign of the issues with our (American) culture and food practices. Our food sources are corporate, huge farms, manufactured, and not local, organic, or varied. I don’t think we have good food available to us. For some that means good food is literally unavailable (food deserts). For others it’s unavailable because our culture prioritizes work over making food and it’s convenient to eat fast food or quick meals rather than putting time and energy into buying fresh food and making fulfilling meals. For all it means that there is a limited variety because our stores carry a lot of the same thing, rather than a variety of local, fresh food.

Person T

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Not afraid of getting fat, afraid of being unhealthy and knowing being fat isn’t the healthiest.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes, and the fear of the esthetic of obesity.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Not to me unless its extreme then I feel shame in parallel with those type of thoughts.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

No, for most I think it just snuck up on them. Now, if you find yourself being a slob as well as fat it’s probably time to consider serious changes in habits.

Person U

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

Yes. I’m a product of watching my mom struggle with obesity (when I was a child) and also being informed by culture and fashion.

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

Yes. I think we’re informed by the narrative of what’s attractive. People are attracted to who they’re attracted to, however being overweight impacts not just the way we look and feel, it also impacts our whole health.

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Yes and as someone who’s also struggled with oral health because of either no insurance or being underinsured my entire life fatness and tooth loss bear a striking resemblance and both also have correlation to our mental health.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

To me and my experience it’s partially about just healthier eating, eating non-GMO and organic as much as possible and being aware that there’s a possible correlation to protecting ourselves. Until I was almost forty years old I was considered mostly thin. I had trouble keeping healthy weight. As a male bodied person I think we still get some leway (which is hypocritical). I’m given the label as portly still. We need food to survive and rarely are we supported around what we eat, we’re usually held accountable at the ‘consequence end’. The irony of the statement, “The proof is in the pudding!”. I’ve also been curious about the number of ways we can passively kill ourselves while suicide is not just shamed, it’s still against the law in most jurisdictions.

Person V

Have you ever been afraid of getting fat?

yes

Have you noticed fear of fatness in others?

yes definitely

Is fatness synonymous with ugliness?

Fatness is not synonymous with ugliness, but it is similar in that people who are fat are often less valued socially, as are people who are less attractive.

Is fatness proof that someone has no self-control or has given up?

I definitely don’t think fatness is proof that someone has no self-control or has given up. I know that fatness is driven by many factors, which are mostly not under our control. However, when I see a fat person I know they have experienced a lot of rejection and trauma. So fatness to me evokes vulnerability. I say this as someone who has been fat and thin at different times.