Body Project questionnaire #2, July 2024
The invitation was to write at least a sentence. (All sharing was done anonymously.) I have permission to compile and publish online. Below are the first set of questions and responses from real people. I have such gratitude for those who shared.
Anti-fat bias is a pervasive thing in medicine, despite most diets being ineffective over time at stabilizing weight loss. Disordered eating and compulsive exercise are taken as the norm in many families, and assumed with some sports.
“My ultimate goal is to have movement feel like something I want to do.”
Person A:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
Yes, sometimes they brought it up as an excuse for my fatigue and facial hair. Sometimes I brought it up with a request for help
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
Yes, I was somewhat successful when I started hiking and running.
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
My ultimate goal is to have movement feel like something I want to do. But I am also impacted by culture saying my body is not sexy or desirable. I also feel like larger bodied clothes are ugly and more expensive.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
To stay active after high school.
“Yes, I have been treated in ways that were not supportive of my particular body.”
Person B:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
Yes, I have been treated in ways that were not supportive of my particular body.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
It is an on-going process
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
It has to do with feel exhaustion and not looking / feeling how I desire of myself.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
Travel to SE Asia and India!
“I would’ve prioritized health instead of a number on a scale and body size/shape.”
Person C:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
No.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
I started working out and dieting when I was 15, and have actually never stopped. I’ve tried everything from Weight Watchers, to keto, to fasting, Mediterranean diet, liquid diets, etc. If there’s a diet out there, I’ve certainly tried it. As a teenager, I used laxatives for a period of time. I’ve never felt that anything has worked for me in the way that I intended.
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
My primary objective was to be thinner than I was. and change the size and shape of my body. I’m pear-shaped, and was never comfortable with it. I wanted a small butt and stick thin legs. I’m also tall, and it never sat well with me that the number on the scale was higher than that of an average sized woman.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
I would’ve put a prioritized health instead of a number on a scale and body size/shape. To a certain degree, you have the basic shape that you have and there’s not a lot that you can do to significantly influence that, without going to extremes. Height matters…It’s not reasonable for a person that is 5’10” to weigh 110 pounds.
“I would love to tell my younger self that females can sweat and get dirty and be beautiful all at once.”
Person D:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
Multiple times over my life, medical providers have often mentioned my size or weight. It didn’t matter what brought me in to see them; everything was weight related. I fell and twisted my ankle, it was because I was overweight. My allergies were particularly bothersome, it was because I was overweight. I lost a dramatic amount of weight in two weeks and was hospitalized for depression, my PC said I only had a little more weight to lose to be in the healthy range. That last one really pissed me off and ever since, I began “talking back.” I also dump providers very quickly if I even suspect they contribute my visit to weight related instead of listening to me. When I find a good provider, I stay with them until they retire or leave the practice.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
I spent my teens dieting and starving myself to be “skinny.” I ruined my metabolism and it warped my self-image. When I was skinny, people thought I was sick or dying. It was really hard to maintain that “look.”
I struggled until my 40s to “see” my body. I still have trouble with mirrors and looking at myself, but now I exercise to improve my strength and improve balance and mobility. I want to be strong not skinny; feel good not look “hot.”
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
My objective was to lose weight and be a size 5 or less. It was about fitting into tiny jeans and seeing my hip bones through my clothing.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
If I could go back in time, I’d ignore those teen magazines and people who enforced my negative body image. I would love to tell my younger self that females can sweat and get dirty and be beautiful all at once; your body is yours and it doesn’t have to suffer to conform to someone else’s idea of perfect.
“I’d like to tell my younger self that I look beautiful and my belly is part of that.”
Person E:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
No. However, at some point, I decided I did not want to be weighed at the doctors office. Multiple times, nurses or PAs have struggled with allowing that and skipping taking my weight. They often have to check with the doctor first and act very judgmental. It has always been approved. I do not get weighed at doctors offices, unless it is actually needed for some thing. For example, I did get weighed for a colonoscopy, because the anesthesiologist needed to know my weight so they could accurately sedate me. I asked them not to share my weight with me, and they didn’t.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
Throughout high school and college, I counted calories. For a while in high school, I was restricting myself to 1000 to 1200 cal a day, despite the fact that I was playing after school sports for about two hours a day.
I did various diets throughout my 20s. I then read some helpful books about food and stopped dieting. I decided never to have a scale again. I still tell the doctors office that I don’t want to be weighed. I continue to have anxiety if I’m eating junk food but I don’t try to diet.
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
Since my 30s, my exercise goals have been to acquire ability, for the most part. I do still become negative towards myself if I don’t get out and exercise enough. That’s in part because of how I’m worried it will affect my weight.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
I wouldn’t have dieted in high school or college. I would have spent less time thinking about calorie burning.
I have gained weight over the years. Some of the time it has been up and down, but now that I’m in my 50s, the weight I gain sticks with me. I’d like to tell my younger self that I look beautiful and my belly is part of that. I’d like to believe that now and accept and love my belly’s shape.”
“Instead of healing the anorexia of the 80s, we allowed it to metastasize to boys & men.”
Person F:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
Multiple times, multiple doctors but pretty routine & respecfful
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
Before lockdown, i went keto, dropped 50 lbs, back to my college weight & felt spectacular. Now i have a pancreatic disorder & am having a tough time making any progress. I often have not been active but only 10ish lbs over my ideal.
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
Before 40, it was more about being atheletic & some vanity. After 40, it’s all been health related for clear reasons: energy levels, cardiac risk, chafing, sleep apnea
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
My brothers teased me and called me fatboy even tho i was never ‘fat but merely unathletic. I would like to have discredited & interrupted their abuse much sooner. **It makes me so sad to see the young men neurotic & body obsessed. Instead of healing the anorexia of the 80s, we allowed it to metastasize to boys & men.
“Stay in shape and you’ll never feel fat or lazy or not yourself.”
Person G:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
Yes I wasn’t treated very nice, actually she was regularly quite rude. She bought it up, then after losing weight she did again and was much nicer to me. She acted quite surprised which I though was a bit off.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
Diet only. Lost 70lbs but did I succeed? It was more about health than body image, but I was still happy with the results.
Did it have to do with the size of your body, the number on the scale, or a specific feature or ability?
I wanted to feel healthy. Over time I started to feel less and less like myself as I gained weight. Losing the weight made me feel happier and healthier even though I was still me. While there was more of me, I felt like less of who I really was or who I should be. Not skinny or Fat just not like I thought I should feel.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
Staying in shape is easier when you are young and already in shape. Stay in shape and you’ll never feel fat or lazy or not yourself. Just stay in shape. If you stray, remember how you used to feel and you can go back there again.
“I bring up my weight because I know it’s a health risk growing more acute as I age.”
Person H:
Has a medical provider mentioned your size or weight, or treated you differently because of it? Did you bring it up, or did they?
I bring up my weight because I know it’s a health risk growing more acute as I age, meaning the consequences of carrying extra weight are likely to manifest in a shorter and shorter amount of time.
I think medical providers have talked about standard solutions, diet and exercise, as part of their responsibility to good healthcare.
How have you tried to change the shape or size of your body through diet and/or exercise? Did you succeed?
Yes, I’ve tried. I did succeed through measures, extreme and otherwise, that have not been enduring.
Objective: a long hike. Side effect was losing weight and gaining muscle mass.
What would you do differently if you could go back in time? What would you have your younger self know?
You will always struggle with your weight.